Unsavory details

Attention: If you are not of a particularly strong constitution and/or do not frequently find the natural release of odiferous bio mass amusing (as I often do not) fair thee warning in reading the following, likely unnecessary, lines – I will do my utmost to spare thee of the most unpleasant particulars of today.

After a lovely three day weekend of bliss I began my decent back to work yesterday morning when a familiar looming rumble arose from my very gut… the outcome of which is hardly a mystery after two of my colleagues recently returned from a similar affront to their well being. Known by many a name no traveler escapes the affects of this most unfortunate occurrence.

After retreating to my abode, determined to escape the destiny of the storm within, I willfully slept to my betterment. Yet as I listlessly walked the halls, I was left overly rested, still suffering from the seemingly unavoidable symptoms. I decided to finally pick up a book my friend LQ had leant me sometime ago. It seemed just the right measure of familiarity and lightheartedness for my delirium. While making an effort to enjoy a fresh chocolate chip cookie, classic music piping ambiance into my living room, no less than three quarters through Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a recent best-seller, I realized with dastardly decorum that the day’s delight was divinely destined. While sparing you unsavory details, I assure you, there is no condition better suited to enjoy the fullness of Jane Austen avec zombies than while sipping tea and calculating the amount of time it will take to run to the loo. So with that, adieu – according to my relations I have yet another day before vanquishing this demon in its entirety.