Cheese confidence leads to cutting chicken

(just thought I’d give headlining a shot – that’s got to be a fun job) Just as my catchy and educational headline states feeling a little adventurous during my over due supermarché shopping (yes, I did in fact live off of Nutella and banana chips last week…) I decided it was time to branch out into buying something from the meat section. As I write this I realize it’s probably starting to look like I have some strange obsession with my meat buying experiences, though I don’t really think this is the case buying meat in other countries, specifically “developing” countries, tends to be a shout out to the yesteryear of my grandparents day… in fact I could almost feel my Grandma P shaking her head in amusement. You see I’ve learned how to say “I would like chicken please” in French, what quickly became apparent is my need to learn some basic body parts… The conversation with the mild mannered butcher started well, but as he lifted the recently plucked chicken from the case it came to my attention that this could have been a model for all the rubber chickens in the states… thus the amusing part of our little ‘conversation’ began. “Sans” and then revert to sign language as I slice my thumb across my neck, well… he sorta got the picture… the head was at least off and thanks to helping mom with the Thanksgiving turkey I’ve been around poultry necks, so I can deal. As he lifted it up for re-inspection I was made aware of the hairy feet… yeah, those need to go. However, communicating this was a bit more challenging, with emphatic use of “sans” and continual pointing to my feet, which I realize he couldn’t see from the other side of the counter - at this point the other butcher helping the Ivorian lady next to me was having a hard time weighing her order because he was laughing so hard - I got my bleeding chicken… and moved on to the comforting familiarity of the cheese counter.
As I sawed in a vane attempt to rid my bird of its neck, while dreaming of my fabulous knives in storage, I caught my breath as the liver fell out and definitely let out a squeak after the delayed fall-out of the rest of the innards. But hey payoff is coming - the bird is in the oven.